CatSpace

I was thinking today about what would happen if I was the only man in the world. What would this mean for the global love life? What if everyone else male was either dead, gay, or Adrian Mutu therefore uninterested in a meaningful, mutually beneficial relationship with a woman? Would Adrian Mutu talk to anyone, or would he just score goals and snort cocaine off models before disappearing into the night as a mirage does into the desert? Would I get to boss every woman in the world, or would I choose one that was mint and remain with her? Would I be required by law to boss everyone immediately in order to repopulate the world? Would I die due to overexertion? Would I get the gush? How would we avoid the horrible consequences of every child being born in the world was half a statcat? Would the next generation down all have hairy eyeballs and the ability to breathe underwater due to all being half brother and half sister? What mutation would be most popular? Would a new species form? Would it be the end of every race in the world except caucasian or would they re-evolve away back to have their own features again? For example would you get one funny generation of Nigerians that were all half cast before they became properly black again or would they stay half cast forever? Would loads of women become a lesbian? Would I get to join in with the lesbians because lesbians like it a bit kinky and it would only be possible with me, therefore kinky? Would I have to worry about hordes of gay men trying to turn me around and into the gay man? Would any women work in the chongshop giving me the kebab, or would I have to stop chowing down fried crap at 4am whilst bossed? Would I have to watch women's football? Would I ever get to join in? Would the most popular sport in the world become flower arranging or cross-stitch patterns? Would things like government and transport and the gas bill suddenly become really well thought out and exude common sense? Would testosterone become as valuable as platinum? What about semen? Would I be able to sell my bodily produce for massive sums? Would I get to be president or would they vote in a woman to be president? Would Robinskis close? Would the AU be shit still? By definition would I win best male artist at the Brit awards every year or would they take the award away? Would all the other men come back to life as a zombie and try and chase me around like in 28 Days Later or would they stay dead? Who would make computer games? WHO WOULD MAKE PES? Would every team on PES except Kensington Athletic become "Classic"? Why don't they make unlockable classic line-ups on PES like United '99 or England '66 or Holland '74 or Huddersfield '23? Why can't you go to a mode where you choose 11 players for your team from a list and then boss your friend. Would these features occur if a woman was making PES? Would I get to make PES? Would I have enough time to do everything or would I have to delegate slaves from rubbish places like Dorset and Leigh to do stuff for me. Would women slaves be of any use?

I don't know the answer to any of these questions.

<3
dotcatdotcom