CatSpace

Etiquette is important for men because it is what separates the man from the baboon. A man can have manners and do the right thing in polite company whilst the baboon eats flies that landed on its friends arse; that is not etiquette. Etiquette is about doing the correct thing at the correct time amongst the correct people. There is an etiquette for everything. For example, there is etiquette when you eat a burger, there is etiquette when you go to the zoo, and in Japan there is even an etiquette to beating seven shades of shite out of your nemesis. In this revered column I today aim to reveal to you how to avoid the thorny issue of bossing a woman that doesn't want you to boss her.

The first and most important rule is, as I have revealed formerly, to boss her immediately. If you provide a woman with the time and reason for negative thoughts to enter her head then she may reject you advances, which would otherwise be as welcome as a bison is to the grass of the plains. However, if you stumble over whilst fucked and engage her in small talk, your bison will instead be transported to the china shop and break lots of expensive things; this is not a positive experience for anyone involved. Because women like china vases, when you proverbially smash them with your proverb bison she will reject your advances. Therefore, it is proper etiquette to walk up to a girl and claim her as soon as possible, if possibly before she is even aware of your presence. It is the only fair thing in the world.

The second is to be voracious in your appetite for the opposite sex. People talk of legendary Casanova's like Casanova, Jamie Theakston and the Green Power Ranger, but modelling your approach on these gentlemen would be as fatal as death. They do not know how to boss a woman because they never had to try, their combination of good looks, wit, charm and sausage formidibility meant that bossing women was as easy for them as breathing. On a role model scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is Myra Hindley and 10 is Adrian Mutu, they get about a 2 or 3. Instead you must envisage yourself as the cookie monster who has just got the jar. MMNMNMMFESNMFNESMNMNMFESMNMNNN WOMENNNN. You enter the room and begin gorging yourself on them immediately. It is the only way, and this is because if a woman sees you and you are only hitting on her, she will grow suspicious of your actions and jettison. Conversely, if you show her that your interests are broad, she will welcome your attention, and you will be victorious.

You must not, however, fool her into thinking that you are going to be her boyfriend. This would be a fatal mistake that is punished by being followed around by a woman lots and lots, but instead of doing good things she will do bad things like bleat and ask for things. You must instead make it clear that your liaison is a temporary measure to ensure your mutual benefit in the hours immediately ahead of you. The woman desires a commitment but you, as a red blooded male, must resist such temptations because they are not beneficial.

If you follow these three rules, things will work and you will have a good time. I hope I have been on assistance.

<3
S.Cat