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Welcome to Match Of The Day World Cup Forecast with me, Allan Sikorsky and my Co-host, Jimmy Hill. In todays show I will be giving you my unique forecast on the upcoming world cup, including my predictions on the movers, shakers and big hitters in Germany. First though, let's discuss who I think will win the world cup.

Group A
Germany, Costa Rica, Poland, Ecuador

A strong group, with any one from three teams joining the Costa Ricans in the second round. Germany have one of the worlds best midfielders in Berndt Schneider, although the Ecuadorians can always rely on their South American flair to open tins of beans with their collective left foots. They will both, however be fighting a losing battle against the tough tackling, direct Poles, bolstered by the return from international retirement of Zbegniew Boniek. Costa Rica will top the group, and Poland will scrape through in second. Germany will be on an early plane home.

Group B
England, Trinidad and Tobago, Paraguay, Sweden

The draw was extremely kind to pre-tournament favorites, Paraguay, pairing them with an ineffective Sweden, a talented but unpredictable Soca Warriors and unknown chancers England. With every team picking up three points from the English, expect the clash between Trinidad and Sweden to be, not only the group decider, but also one of the all time World Cup Classics, with the Swedes just scraping through thanks to the creative genius of one of the worlds most gifted midfielders, Mattaias Linderoth. They will finish second, below Paraguay.

Group C
THE GROUP OF LIFE!!! IVORY COAST!!! AND SERBIA AND MONTENEGRO!!! Argentina and Holland

I have never seen a group so obvious. Big, black, and from the jungle, Ivory Coast will be relishing two and a half games against white boys, and half a game against some Dutch black guys who won't pass to the Dutch white guys due to infighting in their camp, which will send them home. The Argies always go out in the group stage, as demonstrated in 2002, and nothing will change here. NOBODDY WILL SCORE PAST SERBIA AND MONTENEGRO. The mystery of most of Ivory Coasts players will mean they finish top, with the mean Serbian defense seeing them through in second.

Group D
A GROUP OF DEATH!!! Portugal, Mexico, Iran, Angola

What a tough decision to make here, as three world class teams square up. Unfortunately, one will be joining Portugal on the plane home, and I fear it may be the plucky Mexicans. Recent reports indicate that 10% of Mexicans now live in the USA, and this 10% unfortunately included their national football team. Due to this turmoil, and the fact that Portugal ALWAYS disappoint in the World Cup, Iran and Angola will cruise through, depsite Iran being sand people. The Angolans will thank star striker Mantorras for their group topping position.

Group E
Italy, Ghana, United States, Czech Republic

The Ghanaians will qualify due to their African origin, which leaves only one place up for grabs between the US, steeped in football tradition, the Italians and the Czechs. Obviously the US have nothing to prove at this World Cup, having been the cultural center of the game since they invented it in 1994, and this pedigree will see them through, with the Czechs going home as they have Baros up front, and the Italians failing to qualify with 5 points.

Group F
Brazil, Croatia, Australia, Japan

Any one from three, with Brazil here to make up the numbers. Unfortunately I see the Croatians going out, becaue the Japansese are workhorses who will run all day then bow to their manager and ask for more rice, and the Australians are still a whole country, unlike Croatia, which is only part of an old country which used to be good at football but isn't now.

Group G
OMG!!!! France, Switzerland, South Korea, Togo
Switzerland, gunning for revenge from Euro 2004, will dispose of France in this group. Togo will dispose of South Korea thanks to their striker, Adebayor. An easy group for the Togolese and Swiss. Algerian sand person Zinedine Zidane retires to his pig farm, never to be seen on an annoying football boot advert again.

Group H
Spain, Ukraine, Tunisia, Saudi Arabia

Can we do the knockout stages now? Spain are shite and don't have midfielders whereas Tunisia are sand people, not from the african jungle, although Saudis are sand people too. Whoever wins the clash of the sand people will qualify. Ukraine and Saudis.

Thankyou, but before we move on to the second round, who do you think will be top scorer in the World Cup, Jimmy?

Well even though you've written them off, I think Brazils R..

Thanks Jimmy. I think the World Cup top scorer will be Japan Defender Yuji Nakazawa. He is tall, dominant in the air, and has an eye for goal. Get your money on him, you'll get fantastic odds.

Second Round

The inspred Costa Ricans will cruise past their opponents, Sweden, in the first game, thanks to the genius of bendy legged Paolo Wanchope. Similarly, the Ivory Coast make short work of Iran, Drogba scoring seven. Poland vs Paraguay is however a close game, the Poles grinding out a win thanks to the evergreen Boniek. SERBIA AND MONTENEGRO DON'T CONCEDE GOALS!!!!!! so Angola are fucked. Ghana put away Australia in a display of African might. Ukraine put away Switzerland thanks to Rebrovs hat trick. The legendary soccer stars of the US of A squeeze past the Japanese thanks to their most famous and greatest player of all time, Claudio Reyna. Finally, The Togolese deal with the last sand people in the tournament, qualifying at Saudi Arabias expense.

Quarter Finals

The exciting Costa Ricans meet their match in the devastating Ivory Coast in an explosive game containing 521 goals. Ghana power past Ukraine using their massive muscles and no football skill, the Ukranians being too scared to go onto the pitch, forfeiting the game. SERBIA AND MONTENEGRO DON'T CONCEDE GOALS!!!! so Poland are fucked. The traditional world powerhouse, USA, cruise past plucky Togo to secure a semi (sem-eye) final position for the first time in their 12 year history.

Semi Finals

The clash of power and pace on the field in the all african affair leads to a series of explosions and a small war to break out on the terraces in response. The Ivory Coast manage to scrape through, 1-0, after a half-dead Didier Drogba crawls across the line with the ball at his head, the Ghanaian goalkeeper unconscous due to the nearby three way collision of Michael Essien, Didier Zokora, and Emanuel Eboue. Elsewhere, SERBIA AND MONTENEGRO DON'T CONCEDE GOALS!!! so the World Famous USA Heroes Of 2006 (tm) go home to a Heroes (tm) reception from Ashlee Simpson (tm). (tm)

Third Place Play Off
USA vs Ghana
As the Ghanaians are dead, and the USA have gone home, the third place title is awarded to Greece, in honour of their Euro 2004 triumph.

Final
Ivory Coast vs Serbia and Montenegro

Who would have thought it? Two teams from the same group reunite in an explosive final. Only it isn't. Wave after wave of Ivorian attacks are repelled by the excellent Serbian defense, and the game slips almost inevitably into extra time and penalties. Unfortunately for the Ivorians, SERBIA AND MONTENEGRO DON'T conceed goals, so when, on the 147th penalty for the Ivory Coast (146 missed by each team), the goalkeeper again saves, Mateja Kezman has his 13th chance to win the world cup with a penalty, a chance he takes with consumate ease.

So ends the World Cup. I hope you will be taking my advice, and I hope to see you later this summer in Berlin, for our coverage of the Ivory Coast vs Serbia and Montenegro World Cup final!

PnL
Allan